For those of my friends that are not in the US, today is Thanksgiving.. the day of the year when, in theory, we remember things we are thankful for.. as the pilgrims did on surviving a winter in the new land that they were colonizing. In actuality, it’s more often a day to eat yourself comatose and, if you are the type that prefers sports, vegitate in front of the television the remainder of the time. Well, I am not comatose yet (although there is a pie thawing and a ham cooking:P) and the sports I like aren’t the ones they show on the television anyway.
So, in keeping with at least one tradition, I wish to give thanks…

I am thankful for friends to talk with, laugh with, ones close enough that it’s possible to just stand there sometimes, silently, and it’s enough to just be there with each other, enjoying..

I am thankful for the new kitten that Audren and I have, Nat.. the innocent and sweet one that looks to both of us as her dommes.. and has put her trust in us to guide and explore her.. protecting and nuturing, controlling and forcing. You are very wanted kitten.. and no choices for you, ever:)

And lastly, I am thankful, more than words can say, for my partner and pet, Audren. I have never in my life met someone that I feel so intensely about, match so well with. It has been two years since I locked my collar around her neck, and in that time, we have only grown closer, and the bond continues to grow stronger. She is the love of both my lives.. and I don’t know what I would do without her, and never want to find out. Thank you love, for being everything you are to me. I love you madly..

Now, I have a food induced coma scheduled to begin shortly. Happy Thanksgiving….

For those of you that know me well, you may know I’ve been dealing with some fairly stressful issues in RL lately. I normally deal with stress about as well as any normal person..(although I do adopt the “sloth” method of stress control and sleep my cares away sometimes).. but lately it’s all gotten a bit much. Which brings us to the topic de jour…

There are as many definations of what is a partner as there are people, I suppose.. but since I have the podium, it’s all about me today. Even my defination is hard to pin down… someone to laugh with, cry with, comfort you in the bad times and relax and enjoy each other in the good. A partner is someone that sits up with you at 3 AM.. listening to your troubles, offering what solutions they can and simply holding you when no solutions can be found.

If you are lucky in life, you find someone like this.. someone that is always there, in the back of your mind, with you through the day… the one you think of first when you want to share good news.. and the one you run to for comfort when it feels like there is nothing good anywhere.

Yes, we’re a D/s couple.. and that’s how we both enjoy it.. but sometimes, there is no Domme.. there is no sub, there is just my partner.. there for me like nobody else in the world has ever been. And I try, every day, to be the kind of partner that she is to me..(when I’m not locking her up in chains somewhere that is…:p).

My name is Metamorph Merlin, and I have a partner…her name is Audren.

For those of you that don’t know.. there are 14 hours a year that are the most magical ones around, at least for me. You see.. with the time change and the distance between Audren and myself, for exactly 14 hours every year, it is “our” birthday.

June 19th and June 20th overlap for us, and we can celebrate “our” time. And this year, through some RL rescheduling and a late night for my kitten, we were able to celebrate our birthday once again.

You might not know… but Audren is a dedicated 8+ hour a night sleeper.. while I am more of a 4+ hour a night sleeper, so it was a big sacrifice for her to be online, knowing she had to get up in just over 6 hours, to be descended on by a horde of friends and relatives and screaming kids. But she was here… When the clock struck midnight on her birthday, the first one to wish her a Happy Birthday was me:) That means a lot to me..

It’s small continuous things like this that mean the most to me. Staying up late to see me…. nagging me to “bedbedbedbed” yet when I sit down, she sits with me..(and yes, in case you are wondering.. this is turning into mushfest 2009..so back on track..). Those are the little things that linger in your mind.. that make you smile when things aren’t going the greatest sometimes. My RL is going through some rough patches right now.. but I know, even if they are thousands of miles away… there is someone in the world that I can talk to, a shoulder to lean on.. someone to make me smile by being a goof sometimes..someone to love:)

And guess what..? She loves me too.. and that is the most magical thing of all….

It took me a day or so for the reality of this to sink in.. but I’m a believer now. There I was, sending a comforting e-mail to my kitten who was feeling under the weather.. totally unsuspecting of what was in store for me. It had been a day or so since I had seen her, due to some RL committments for us both, but I fondly remembered cuddling with her, because we knew it would be a few days before we saw each other again. That’s when it must have happened…:(

After sending my e-mail and doing some errands, I realized, the case of  sniffles I was coming down with was a bit more than could be accounted for by the high pollen content.. and to be honest, I wasn’t feeling that well myself.  As my symptoms developed.. and I experienced an ever growing sense of deja vu, I realized…. Audren had given me her cold!! And I was even running an anti-virus program too!!.. Obviously, this was the next new super virus!!

She continues to deny it.. and you, dear reader, may deny it as well.. but I know of at least two other people that had contact with her.. that are now sick.. their symptoms eerily similiar to my sweet kittens. One she even joked with me that she “licked her cheek.. now she will get sick too”… well guess who did get sick!

I think that, for the protection of everyone, I will be forced to put Audren in Isolation (otherwise known as caging:p)… until I am certain this deadly plague has run it’s course…I know it may seem harsh.. but better she be caged.. with shackles (in case she tries to escape)  and a gag (in case she tries any more licking!!) and a butt plug (because.. umm umm.. because I want to plug her:p).. for a few days, for the protection of us all. I will make the sacrifice and even move her cage next to our bed, so I can watch her closely. I’ll make sure to let her out for plenty of exercise.. but again, for everyones protection.. I’ll have to think of some type of exercise we can do in her isolation room. When I’m certain she will not willy nilly infect someone else.. I’ll consider releasing her again. But for now, I have a bound, gagged, and plugged kitten to use.. (I mean exercise:p).

Luckily, I’ve already been sick…..

It takes a lot to get me down.
Make no mistake, it happens.
This is the first of what is a very rare thing for me to talk about. RL. Here goes…

Lately, inbetween suffering a bad back, and a lot of stress about job insecurity (took another blow to it today), I have come to the further realisation that I should probably be considered an alcoholic . Its no excuse, but I have been drinking far too much as an escape from the first two problems I have listed there, and all three have really been wearing me down physically, mentally and emotionally. I have decided to make this post to try and make myself feel better.

Despite the above, I am still a happy person. Even when im feeling down, angry, even in thankfully rare moments of agony, I still smile and enjoy life as much as i can. Meta has told me that I amaze her sometimes. When things hurt, and things get me down, I can still smile and laugh. She tells me the very worst I have done when it was all so bad was be “short” with her.
Of course, it always fills me with joy to see Meta. She is a shoulder for me to lean on, someone who helps me to kittens feet, and I love her so much for it. How can I be upset when I have her?
*whispers so Meta cant hear* I hate the idea of being short with her so much that when I realise it is the case, I make some feeble excuse to leave (Meta sees right through it of course). I dont want to unintentionally upset her, AND I hate not being kittens usual self. I feel its an affront to kittens sense of being.

As for kitten’s personal issues she has to deal with, well i’ll keep you all posted on what happens with the decision’s ive made, and the one’s ive yet to make! *licks you all!*

Today is a big day.. well, to me anyway.. you see, later today, one year ago (after compensating for time differences for strange people that live on the opposite side of the planet) I branded then partnered the most important person in my life. For those of you thinking that this is going to me a huge mushy post, full of hearts, flowers and playful kittens.. well, you can just go stand over in that corner.. I’ll see to you in a moment.

Of COURSE it’s going to be a mush-fest.. is this the first post of mine you have read? :p

Seriously though, probably to Auden’s amazement, I’ll keep this post short and relatively mush free..I hope everyone, at some time in their life, has the privilege of meeting, loving, and being loved by, someone that completes them. I am hopelessly incompetent to describe how precious that experience is, and how much better my life is because Audren is in it, but I wish this for everyone.

Audren, love, you complete me…. Happy Anniversary.

“an unmanned aircraft or ship guided by remote control” 

Ok, ok, so maybe not the kind of drone I was hinting at.. but we’ve all seen them.. Subs, slaves, doormats, those that 90% of their vocabulary consists of “Yes Mistress”.  You know they set your teeth on edge as much as mine. They are like candy.. ok in small doses but try to live on a diet of it and you quickly get sick. Yet, unfortunately, this is exactly the sterotype that most new to D/s pattern themselves after. (Heck, when I first started in SL.. I patterned myself after it too:P… )

I’ll admit, I haven’t taken a survey, but based on conversations with a wide variety of Dommes, we want personality.. we want something other than our own opinions and thoughts spouted back at us. One sure path to a spanking, or a caging, or whatever strikes me at the time, is for me to ask for your opinion on something and respond with “Whatever you wish Mistress”. Now, I know my thoughts.. if I actually ask for an opinion, is it too much to expect that I would want to hear one? I never said I would take it.. but sometimes hearing others opinions sparks new facets of understanding in your own thoughts. I have no delusions that I am perfect (I’m not Audren, after all:p)..and it is possible that I may have missed a wrinkle in whatever I am pondering at the time (hence the asking for opinions).

If your purpose is to serve your Owner, to make them happy, to help each of you grow both as a person and grow together.. then make the effort to have an opinion. “Whatever you wish Mistress” is taking the easy way out.. it is much much more rewarding and exciting to know deep down, your pet is a complex, varied, independent, functioning individual that voluntarily submits her will to you.

Ok. In RL i’m tall. 6′ to be exact.
In SL i’m apparently small, 5′.
That is compared to the average 140′ tall avatars you get in SL.

Im not a 8′ tall hulking mass of muscle trying to impress girls. Im a 5′ tall kitten who far more often then not is wearing restraints, harness’, piercings, tattoos, the works (and trying to impress girls). How is it then, that me being a realistic and proportionally sized avatar deserves to be discriminated against and labeled as a child player by ignorant and arrogant 8′ tall people who are way out of proportion. Why dont they paint themselves green and call themselves the incredible hulk?

Ill make it clear one last time:
THE very last thing I will ever consider doing is pretending I am a child and all of those ignorant people out there who have a problem with kitten’s choice of look as an avatar can go suck wind (politely put). You can all go ahead and report me to LL if you feel so strongly that a 5′ tall kitten, wearing harness’, shackles, collar, gags, etc is a child. Im sure they will think you have a mental problem if thats what you think a child looks like. Regardless, LL will investigate and find absolutely no evidence that I have ever pretended to be a child. EVER!.

“Sure hun, thats what they all say”. *Sigh* . I respect a sim owners wishes when asked to leave whatever the reason (rare), but I am not going to change kittens appearance to please one or two ignorant people’s opinion, that I look like a child player, much less use the line as quoted at the start of this paragraph when I tell them im NO CHILD PLAYER!

If LL had such a problem with people choosing to be short, why wouldnt they limit us to between 6′ and 8′ tall? Or better yet between 5′ and 7′ tall, as that is FAR more realistic. Because only the dutch are really that big?

Quote 1 – The first line in kittens profile:
***NB: Im *SMALL*, **NOT** a child/age player, and accusing me of being one only proves your ignorance!

Its true isnt it? Besides, the last thing I would tell someone who looks like me is that they look like a child. It would make me appear really disgusting to them.
Im so not bringing up kids I may have in the future wherever it is they live… especially if what I look like is the normal look for children where they live.

Quote 2 – The group charter of a group called “Down with tall avatars!”:
Are you tired of being called “short” or mistaken for a child and being discriminated against by 8′ tall people for being of realistc height and proportion? We are too!

We are simply sick of arrogant, judgmental giants who want us to scale ourselves up to their hideous size. If you know you’re tall, that’s fine. Just don’t be a jerk because somebody seems small when compared to you. Live and let live.

Im so glad I found the above group. Its listed with pride in kitten’s profile, while most groups I am in are hidden .

Anyway, prove your own ignorance and accuse me of being a child if you like, or you can accept that being 8′ tall doesnt make you an adult, it makes you a towering monster. Try being 6′ which is FAR more realistic, and tell me if I look like a child next to you then? Much love.

I’ve often been asked why I chose to classify myself as Meta’s Pet, instead of Meta’s Slave… ok thats a lie, noone has ever asked me, but I am going to tell you anyway . Having said all that, I cant recall whether Meta classified me as her pet, or whether I did… whichever, it was something we agreed on .

I have a saying that I like to use to classify the difference – that’s where I will start this off:
A slave has no freedoms, rights or priviledges – except those GRANTED to them by their Dom/me.
A pet has all the freedoms, rights and privileges of an unowned person – except those DENIED to them by their Dom/me.

That is this kitten’s opinion on the basic differences between the two, but it doesnt answer the question I haven’t yet been asked .

I just deleted the next 5 paragraphs I wrote out – a big long story about kitten’s previous life, including owning 4 girls and 1 boy, releasing them, becoming a slave, being m-worded (*bleargh*!!!!!!!!), and the drama that pushed kitten away from SL and caused a LOT of problems with so-called friends etc… but I decided to delete them. So ill go on more simply… here goes:

Meta encourages kitten’s playfulness and individuality. She even encourages kitten’s tendancy to disobey – she knows when I ampretending to disobey just to irk her, and she lets me get away with it, knowing it is in kitten’s nature.
Meta especially encourages kitten’s playfullness, and tendancy to disobey in that manner. She knows the difference between me pretending to ignore her for fun, and ignoring her because I dont like what I am hearing (very rare )!!!

There is more to it of course, but I am most definately not a “Yes Mistress” recording .

I promised a separate entry on Domination and I do try and keep my promises.. which brings us today’s entry.

There are all kinds of Domination.. some I am familiar with, some I am not afraid to admit, I am not.. and some I don’t want to be:p. Just as every submissive is different, so too is every Domme. My opinion on Domination is just that, my opinion, and my preferences.

I have said before, that I feel the submissive has the harder of the two roles in a D/s relationship. That does not mean that I think being a Domme is easy.. it’s not.  It is, however, an interesting challenging task, and if you are lucky, an intimate journey you may undertake with your sub.. allowed to direct and accompany her (or him I suppose…) on a journey of self discovery.

One of the biggest mistakes a Domme can make, and unfortunately an all-too-common mistake, is treating all submissives the same. All subs are definitely NOT created equal and, what works for one may fail miserably with another. Each submissive has their own likes, their own kinks, there own fears and insecurities. To paint them all with the same brush is doing them a disservice, and not living up to your responsibility as their Owner. Yes, there are general categories that they may fall into and kinks that they like.. humiliation, pain, restraint and control, cages, as many variations as there are kinks. They may know they “like” one or more of these.. but the true journey lies in exploring their nature.. pushing their boundaries, always prepared to recognize a limit and pull back, and with them enable them to better understand themselves.

I have seen many, many, “Dommes” that think if they put on black and are abusive, then they are a Mistress. And unfortunately, there never seems to be a lack of “submissives” ready to jump into D/s with both feet, then jump right back out in a week, when it’s not everything they expect. Some submissives want abuse, some have different needs.. I can domme subs that require and need punishment, but truely, I love all my subs (and am in love with one:p). I can Domme them many different ways, but they each know I care for and about them. I have, in the past, refused to domme a sub because, for whatever reason, I was having a bad day and was angry at the world. I hope never to “take out my frustrations” on a sub, just because I am frustrated. I may own them, but I will never abuse them. Even when using pain as a domination tool, I am not “angry” at them.. I use pain, if they need pain at that particular time. And I use tenderness, if they need tenderness.

I’m sure there will be other postings on Domination as it’s too broad a topic to cover in a single post.. I have much more of an opinion from the Domme side than the sub, and lets face it, as much as I would love to, if I wrote every blog post about Audren, everyone would get tired of reading (well, everyone but me:p).